I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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