he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The power of my boobs compel you
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
