I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize