There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
