im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
