My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
