did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
