Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
