Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
