Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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