Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
