I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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