The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
A+ Viking dick
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
