I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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