I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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