I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
