and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
