my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
