So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
