My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
