Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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