She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
