I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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