what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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