All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize