Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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