Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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