Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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