So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
