im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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