i can't believe i had my finger in that
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
