i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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