My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
