We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
