Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
