try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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