May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
