btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
