So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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