I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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