Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize