somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
