so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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