note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
