hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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