i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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