someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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