Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
