is wine microwaveable?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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