adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
