I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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