He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
