I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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