you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
