He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
