her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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