Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
