We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
