I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
