so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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