My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
