yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
