Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
